The Question on Divorce

As a Sunday school teacher and a minister, one of the questions I am frequently asked, is the question on divorce. Are Christians allowed to get a divorce and are we allowed to remarry? This is a very controversial question because in this day and age the divorce rate amongst Christians is no different from that of the world. Most times the people who ask this question already know the truth. They also know in their heart what they are supposed to do. They just come to me looking to me to justify their actions; however, they end up not liking what I have to say.

To answer the question of the divorce and remarrying we have to answer the two questions separately. So the first question is, are Christians allowed to divorce? Let’s look at a few scriptures and see how the bible answers this question.

 “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,” Deuteronomy 24:1 NIV

At first when reading the above scriptures is seems that the bible sanctions divorce. This is because Moses was given the children of Israel instructions on what to do when they were displeased with their marriages. It is important to note that this is the only area in the bible were these instructions were given and there is a reason for this, which we will be looking at later on. However, in order for us to get a clearer understanding on what the bible is trying to say about divorce, let’s look at some more scriptures.

“You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows. Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”” Malachi 2:14-16 NLT

There are several things we can pick out from the above scripture:

1. God always stands as a witness to our marriage covenant: we see God in the book of Genesis giving us the guidelines for the marriage covenant. God is the creator of the marriage covenant.

“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”Genesis 2:24 NIV

2. God was accusing the children of Israel of being unfaithful to their wife’s and their marriages. We see God requesting that they remain faithful to their wife’s
3. God says he hates divorce and this was said in his own words, “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. Malachi 2:16a NLT
4. God regards divorce as cruelty

So if getting a divorce is ok and the bible allows it why does God use words like hate and cruelty to describe it? Another point I would like to make is that if God accepts divorce, then if we choose not to serve Christ anymore, then it should not be a sin because it is like us divorcing him. We should remember our relationship with Christ is a marriage covenant

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:22-25 NIV

But we know that is not the case, God condemns divorce in several areas of the bible. God even uses it as a form of punishment against the children of Israel so it can’t be good.

““If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled? But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers— would you now return to me?” declares the Lord.

I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery.” Jeremiah 3:1, 8 NIV

If we take a look in the New Testament, Jesus Christ also had something to say about divorce. This statement made by Jesus Christ also goes on to explain Moses actions in Deuteronomy

“Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”” Matthew 19:3-9 NIV

So according to Jesus, Moses permitted it because of Israel heart was hardened, however, it was never Gods choice. We can find many more references to divorce in the New Testament but before we do that I just want to remind us that the bible says “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” The verse says “let no one separate,” this means friends, lawyers, judges, clergy and also the couples themselves, yes! The couples, we are covered under “no one.” so we should not do anything that will bring about the separation of our marriages.

So are Christians allowed to divorce? The answer is NO! Why? The bible clearly states it.

So if the answer to the question is Christians allowed to divorce is NO? So automatically the answer to the question is Christians allowed to remarry would be NO too, unless??? Unless what? Let’s look at the book of Romans and see what the apostle Paul has to say

“For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.” Romans 7:2-3 NIV

So because we are bound by a law (covenant) to our spouses only via death of one in the marriage, can the other remarry? If he/she remarries while the other is still alive they are committing adultery.

Someone would ask, what if there is serious abuse going on in the marriage and someone’s life is at risk. We know that this is the case in many marriages. There also a whole lot of other issues that we can give as a genuine reason for divorce. However, the bible has an answer for that and we find the answer again with the apostle Paul

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NIV

So if the marriage has become unbearable for one reason or the other and you go ahead and separate from your spouse, the bible recommends that you remain unmarried or else go back to your spouse

What do you think? Please leave a comment down below. Also if this article has been helpful or you have any questions you can leave them down below.

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