On the 24/07/15 it was on the news that a report from the UN recommended that the UK should pass laws to ban parents from smacking their children at home. The UN report also recommended that the UK put an end to all form of corporal punishment in all settings and encourage non-violent forms of discipline of children instead.
I would like to start off by asking, should the government really put a ban on smacking? If smacking and corporal punishment is taking out of the hands of parents what’s left as a form of discipline? The UN is suggesting non-violent forms of discipline to be used instead. However do non-violent forms of discipline really work? It is said that smacking is already banned in dozens of countries including Germany, Spain, Holland and much of Eastern Europe. How do these countries fair? In the UK right now there is no law against smacking, parents are allowed to use “reasonable chastisement” as long as kids are not bruised or injured, Be that as it may, in my own opinion the UK has issues in this regard and I would explain.
Even though there is no law against smacking in the UK, many parents have chosen to raise their children without smacking them and you only need to go as far as the supermarkets to see the results. Many times I have observed how parents are not able to control their children, shouting on the top of their voices in order to get control of that child or a child crying and rolling on the floor because they did not get what they wanted, also children of 9/10 years old smoking.
A few months ago in the news, there was a report that stated that ‘Cases of children abusing their parents has soared by 60% in two years.’ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3071428/Huge-rise-violence-against-parents-children-Cases-60-offspring-young-seven-investigated.html. It is surprising how the government cannot link these
two issues together and see that one is the result of the other. The lack of discipline in homes has resulted in children who do not respect their parents and this has resulted in children whom abuse their parents. Let see what the bible has to say on this issue.
King Solomon was the wisest man in the bible and the wisest man to ever live. He wrote the book of proverbs and he had a lot to say on the issue of child discipline. The book of Proverbs says
“Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” Proverbs 22:15 ASV
The bible encourages smacking when a child is behaving foolishly. So what does the bible regard as foolish behaviour?
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7 NIV
A fool is someone who despises wisdom and instruction. Meaning they do not want to listen or follow instructions. This can be said of many adults as well, however, the bible only recommends the discipline of children.
“A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.” Proverbs 29:15 NIV
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
Proverbs 13:24 NIV
Discipline is meant to be used as a tool for raising our children in the right way and not a method of abuse. Discipline is meant to be painful and unpleasant
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11 NIV
Discipline is one of the tools parents are required to use when training their children
“Teach your children right from wrong, and when they are grown they will still do right.” Proverbs 22:6 CEVDCUS06
Contrary to popular belief when you discipline you child you are showing love to that child
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”
Proverbs 13:24 NIV
“And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.” Hebrews 12:5-10 NIV
I smack my children. However, I choose to smack them as a last resort, I use it when all else has failed. When I have cautioned, made them promise, use other form of discipline. If at this point there is no change in their behaviour then I would smack them. I find that I don’t smack my children during school term because they don’t get into much trouble unlike during the holidays (mainly the long holidays) were they get up to so much mischief, they do get smack but like I said as a last resort. I was smacked by my parents too and it did not kill me, I believe it made me even better. I am not advocating that we use smacking all the time, only when necessary.
I know someone who is raising their first daughter without having to smack her. When she has done something wrong they would talk to her and she would listen. I remember once when we spoke, the person in question said she feels it is wrong to smack children. I didn’t say much because I felt it was ok for her to feel that way because her daughter is a very obedient child. However, when they had their second daughter it was a different story, she had behaviour issues, mainly biting and scratching, there were other things too. It got to a point that they were afraid to leave her anywhere. She would talk about the different issues they were facing. However, the point I am trying to make is that I witnessed her father smacking her as a last resort. Two different children, two different scenarios, same parents.
If God uses discipline who are we not to do the same
“And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”” Hebrews 12:5-6 NIV
And God’s discipline is hard
“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?” Hebrews 12:7 NIV
I am aware that some parents and carers abuse the children under their care, however, we can’t because of the few stop all parents using smacking as a form of discipline. If we do not apply the right form of discipline on our children then according to the word of God:
“They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;” Romans 1:29-30 NIV
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